A Revolutionary Response

The revolution feels that it must respond to this issue and declare that our intentions were never theft, but simply a protesting reminder to students of how the practices of this school have so permeated our thought process that something which would once have been offensive and shocking is now accepted as Christian culture.
As much as we realize and apologize for the fact that we have been lax in making contact with the administration regarding our purposes, the fact that they have been so sudden and drastic in their measures as that they would send us to prison is a shocking matter (especially considering that they refused to press charges against last year’s notorious Houghton Thief and even tried to keep the New York State Police from prosecuting that “repentant” sinner; I suppose they would let you get away with anything as long as you grovel before them). Well, we won’t grovel before them, but because we never intended to keep the scanners more than a few days anyways (and because we have no wish to visit the Allegany county jail) I make my promise that the scanners will be returned today.
As for the “appropriate channels,” now that we have your attention (students I mean) let us oblige the administration and make use of those channels. I hope we have the self respect, now that the administration is already listening, to do whatever we can to address this issue. We have our first task before us!
Just to clarify our standpoint to those of you with tender consciences (would that all our consciences were so), our purpose was never to undermine the system or try to force a change, but that by bringing about some action, we would be able to change Houghton using the appropriate means. Taking the scanners was not something we entered into lightly, and is still not something that we take lightly, but let it exemplify for you the seriousness with which we view this issue.

At this stage we would like to apologize, not for any inconvenience, but for the fact that we lacked patience to simply be ignored.